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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29057244">Close to You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlienShawty/pseuds/AlienShawty'>AlienShawty</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Actual cheating, Angst, Canonical Character Death, Characters Suffer In Canon and they Suffer In This Fic Too, Childhood Memories, Childhood Sweethearts, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Loneliness, Loss of Virginity, Mutual toxicity, Not Much Happiness In This Fic Imma Be Real With Yall, On Hiatus But I Will Return to this in May, Pain, Pining, Sexual Tension, Smut, Young Love, it gets better though, reader is a nurse</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 07:41:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>18,916</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29057244</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlienShawty/pseuds/AlienShawty</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When you took a break from you and Porco's tumultuous relationship, you found solace in Reiner's arms after he returned from Paradis. Now, still with Porco, you find yourself craving Reiner's embrace more and more. Will you remain faithful to Porco in light of these feelings or explore your desires?</p><p>April 9, 2021 Update - I will be swamped with school and work for the rest of the month, so I will not be able to work on this story until May. Thank you for understanding! :-)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Porco Galliard/Reader, Reiner Braun/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>68</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>123</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. I Still Got My Eyes on You, Baby</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This started out as a smutty Porco one-shot, but I kept changing it while I was working on it and now we have some semblance of a storyline? Read all about it!</p><p>I'll add more tags as I add chapters since I don't fully have this fleshed out.</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>An intense moment shared with Reiner leads to an even more intense moment shared with Porco.</p><p>Explicit content ahead!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Long time no see,” Reiner greets, abruptly ending the trivial and likely one-sided conversation he was attempting with Porco. His warm golden eyes were wide with longing, diverted to you while you lingered awkwardly in the doorway of Porco’s room. Standing up straight, he stiffened at the sight of you, freezing in place. </p><p> </p><p>You swallow thickly and begin to speak, barely able to form words. “Porco. Vice Chief Braun.” Greeting them both as you lean on the door frame to quell your sudden anxiety, you sense Porco’s distaste for your weirdly formal greeting to Reiner, who according to him, is wildly undeserving of both his title and Titan. And even worse than having positions he is not worthy of, Reiner also had <em>you</em> at one point.</p><p> </p><p>Hearing your voice, Porco turns around in his chair to say ‘hi,’ only to see your eyes fixated on Reiner. You easily find yourself immersed in his form; his soft blond hair you used to weave your fingers through, that handsome face you’d pepper with kisses, and that strong, chiseled body that would drive you mad as he—</p><p> </p><p>You shake your head and bashfully look down at the floor, allowing the past memories and straying, lewd thoughts to dissipate, before peering at both of them and working out a “Was I interrupting something?” into the room. The answer is an obvious yes, but maybe asking it will somehow make your gawking at Reiner less noticeable to Porco. You stared at each other for only a moment, but it felt as though you were gazing for hours, ceaselessly lost in those honey-colored orbs and<em> never </em> wanting to find a way out.</p><p> </p><p>Reiner breaks eye contact with you to look at Porco, who is giving him a near-deadly glare. Eyes fixed on Reiner, Porco answers for the both of them. “No, actually Reiner was just about to leave.” Reiner furrows his brow and gives him a confused look, as do you.</p><p> </p><p>“But we didn’t even discuss—”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t you have to meet up with Falco or Gabi for something?” More of a command than a suggestion, the harshly spoken words rolled off his tongue with an incredible ease as he rudely cut Reiner off.</p><p> </p><p>Sensing Porco’s quickly growing annoyance, Reiner decides that he <em> does </em> have somewhere else to be. After all, you probably came to Porco’s room to talk to Porco, your boyfriend. It would be rude to leave you standing there in the doorway for any longer, as you had been for the whole hostile exchange.</p><p> </p><p>“Yea, I probably should get going then, there’s not—”</p><p> </p><p>“Yea, you probably should,” Porco echoed mockingly as he cut the blond off for a second time within a span of seconds.</p><p> </p><p>Reiner narrowed his golden eyes at Porco and began mouthing words, promptly realizing that whatever retort he had in mind wasn’t even worth the effort. Pursing his lips, he glanced at you once more, his lips smoothly stretching into a kind, closed-mouth smile.</p><p> </p><p>With his tall frame approaching you, you step into the room so as not to be lingering in the doorway. As he departs, you discretely steal a glance of the butt you used to clutch; firm, but still soft somehow. You finally direct your attention to Porco as you listen to the sound of Reiner’s footfalls descending down the hallway until he is gone.</p><p> </p><p>Before even fully looking at Porco, you can practically feel the steam emanating from him. And it certainly isn’t Titan steam.</p><p> </p><p>“What the fuck was that?” Porco immediately spits out as he approaches you.</p><p> </p><p>“What was what?” You ask almost stupidly as your face flushes, knowing exactly what he was referring to. Porco angrily cocks his head at you.</p><p> </p><p>“Shit, Porco was I supposed to ignore him completely? I mean—”</p><p> </p><p>“For all I care, you could never speak to him again and I’d be fine with it.” Porco made a nasty habit of cutting people off. He was well aware of you and Reiner’s brief history, though he made a concerted effort to shove the thought out of his mind whenever it popped in there. The thought of you being intimate with a man like Reiner made his lips curl in a mix of disgust and rage.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, we both know that’s never going to happen so get it out of your head.” You shot back quickly. “We are not together anymore, Porco.” You emphasized the latter statement, staring deep into his eyes as you declared it. You and him were now face-to-face, standing in the middle of his room. You caressed his cheek gently and he placed his hand over yours. "What Reiner and I had was nothing compared to what <em>we</em> have." You felt a pang of guilt as you expressed this sentiment that wasn't entirely truthful.</p><p> </p><p>“You got me, Porco.” You paused and pecked him on the lips, remaining only a kiss’s distance from him. “You don’t have to assert yourself and act like such a jerk to prove something.” You stated this in earnest, only to rile him up after he was calmed, lighting the fire of tension that had previously been extinguished.</p><p> </p><p>He drew back from you abruptly and furrowed his brow, basically scoffing at what you had said. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”</p><p> </p><p>“You always act like an asshole when Reiner’s around,” you elaborated. It was true. Porco could be so sweet to you at times, to the other Warriors, and even the Warrior cadets. As soon as he felt Reiner’s presence, this changed for the worse. You wanted, so badly, to believe that his behavior toward Reiner was simply him being protective over you with regard to other men; possibly the phenomenon of acting coldly toward your partner’s former fling. Although, you never found yourself acting hostile toward Pieck. Ever.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah so? I hate that worthless bastard.”</p><p> </p><p>The words pierced you like daggers and the desire to defend Reiner from Porco’s hostility loomed. Your time spent with Reiner was short-lived, but in that short time, you got well acquainted with a selfless, caring man. If only Porco knew the pain that festered within Reiner, he could realize that he was not worthless in any way.</p><p> </p><p>“I know, Porco. But you have no idea what he went through on that island with those devils. You could stand to be a little nicer to him.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em> I </em> could stand to be a little nicer to <em> him </em>?” Porco echoed your words with disgust. “Fucking ridiculous. I lost my brother because of him and I have to be the nice one?” He muttered angrily.</p><p> </p><p>“He experienced loss, too! You think that doesn’t mean anything to him? Bertholdt, Annie...”</p><p> </p><p>Porco stormed toward the door, bitter as ever. “Enough of this bullshit. If you’re so sympathetic toward him, why don’t you go be with him again? I’m outta h—” Cutting <em> him </em> off for a change, you grabbed his hand forcefully and practically yanked him back into the room after he marched angrily toward the door.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t you fucking get it? I only want you!” You exclaim to him, frustrated that he’s acting this way. Cutting through the thick tension in the room, you begin to calm down. “I hate arguing with you, Porco,” you utter. “You always think that because I defend him, I must still be into him. It’s not true, so please stop acting like this.”</p><p> </p><p>You add in a low voice, “There’s no man above you. Especially not him.” Perhaps you could convince even <em> yourself </em>that the last part was the truth.</p><p> </p><p>Porco led you toward the wall adjacent to the doorway, trapping you between it and himself, slamming the door closed on the way. “You only want me?” He locks his eyes on you intently, voice simmering with sudden lust and breaths heavy. You were grateful for the easy mitigation of his anger; the arguments you had with him could drag on, erupting in explosive manners that neither of you originally intended. One of these arguments prompted your fling with Reiner and Porco’s with Pieck, as both of you needed a break from the on-and-off tumult of your relationship.</p><p> </p><p>Staring into his hazel eyes, you see the sin and desire brewing in them, the usual result of you saying the necessary words to assuage his anger.</p><p> </p><p>You stare deviously yet adoringly at him and deliver the final blow to squash his irritation. “Yes, it’s only you and no one else, Porco. And I don’t want to talk about <em> him </em> anymore.” You lean in to tease a kiss, leaving your faces a mere centimeter apart, close enough to taste his desire yet.</p><p> </p><p>He hurriedly presses his lips against yours, catching them hungrily. The kisses are impatient and rough, but you welcome them, understanding his need. With one hand on his cheek, your other is trailing down his svelte body toward his member which is already hardening. He shudders at the gentle sensations, lips quivering and face flushed. Without hesitation, he pulls down his pants and boxers, now clad only in an undershirt. You raise your brows and part your lips before licking them in anticipation—it stood straight out at you, leaking and swollen.</p><p> </p><p>He stared at you with pure cockiness, before catching your lips in a desperate kiss as you toyed with him. “Sh-Show me how much you want me…” Porco’s low voice trails off, eyes shut already reveling in the pleasure you’re giving to him. </p><p> </p><p>You palmed him, his hardness pulsing and heavy in your head. Forming a loose fist, you started with your slow and tortuous motions, each pump effectively lathering his member in pre-come. Impatient and desperate for more contact, more pleasure, he thrust his hips, your hand loosely cradling his manhood as it went back and forth. Leaning in close to you so that he was a kiss away, he looked deep into your eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Why don’t you give it a little kiss?” Porco smiled assuredly with that suggestion, piercing you with lust-blown eyes. And that was all it took; to some degree you disliked how easily his voice worked you, how you practically melted at his subtle commands.</p><p> </p><p>You wordlessly dropped down to your knees as if to say a prayer, only instead to engulf his hot, twitching rod in such a depraved act of sin. You took him in to the hilt and Porco shuddered, barely able to hold onto the wall he was still facing. With one hand on the wall for support, he had the other wildly and tightly threaded in your hair, eagerly helping you with your motions.</p><p> </p><p>Porco moaned, “Yea, that’s it, baby!” <em> Baby </em> rolled off his tongue in such an off-putting manner; he said it with genuine intention, but he had no way of knowing that it was what Reiner called you in your intimate moments with him and that you’d rather hear that from <em> his </em> mouth.</p><p> </p><p><em> In and out, in and out. </em> You worked him with the perfect amount of suction, making sure to swirl and flick your tongue around his sensitive tip. The taste of Porco on your lips was admittedly delicious, his syrupy pre-come drizzling on your tongue.</p><p> </p><p>Looking up at him, you felt a slickness in your panties. Watching his chest heaving so rhythmically as he sung his pleasure in moans and groans was entrancing. Even looking at such a view, you couldn’t help but briefly think of Reiner. Especially when you’d look up at <em> him </em> during times like these. He would call you beautiful, tenderly threading his fingers through your hair as your head bobbed, and you watched satisfaction soar through his sculpted body.</p><p> </p><p>You licked a stripe up the side of his hardness before taking it in your mouth again. Porco bit his lip as you bobbed your head, blowing him with smooth finesse. Your mouth already felt this good, yet the thought of being inside of you somewhere else made him impossibly harder.</p><p> </p><p>“Fuck, I fucking love—” Knowing that him lacing his groans with profanity meant he was close, you pulled him out of your mouth with an exaggerated <em> pop </em> noise, leaving it coated in a generous layer of your spit and stood up.</p><p> </p><p>Quickly, you shed your clothing until you were naked, as well as Porco taking off his undershirt. Hurrying to his bed, he greedily clutched your butt on the way. You turned and offered him a flirty half-smile, him flashing you a smug and hungry look.</p><p> </p><p>You settled yourself on his bed on all-fours, him joining you on the bed on his knees. His member had softened a bit, but by seeing you in this position in front of him, folds slick with anticipation of the pleasure to come, he stiffened without delay. This was one of his favorite positions and one with which he was quite familiar thanks to Pieck.</p><p> </p><p>Giving his hardness a few strokes, he asked, “Ready for me baby?” <em> Baby, </em>there it was yet again.</p><p> </p><p>“Uh-huh. Give it to me,” you answered, voice layered with arousal. It was more of a plea than a command, much to Porco’s liking.</p><p> </p><p>Without delay, he guided his erection toward your hole, flinching at the first contact of your wetness with his head. You let out a soft moan as Porco budged past the tight, wet ring of muscles at your entrance. Sliding deeper inside you, both of you felt pleasure rip through your bodies in different ways. Finally all the way inside, Porco latched his hands onto your hips and started thrusting.</p><p> </p><p>You groaned with each powerful thrust, each moan and groan of his name motivating him to move faster. His thrusts met your bottom forcefully and you held tightly onto the sheets as Porco pounded into you.</p><p> </p><p>His hands roamed freely about your back, settling on your waist as he pulled you back and forth in a series of shallow thrusts. “Go deeper, Porco!” you demanded, evoking a proud smile from him. If deeper was what you wanted, deeper was what you’d get.</p><p> </p><p>Shifting his position, Porco adjusted himself closer so that his sweaty chest was pressed against your back, his hands now intertwined with yours. His head was nested in the crook of your neck, mouth right by your ear.</p><p> </p><p>“Can <em> he </em> go deep like this?” He growled hotly into your ear, still powerfully thrusting into you. The sound of him in your ear was as arousing as ever, evoking a forceful moan from you. “I know <em> he </em>can’t make you feel like this, that’s all me!”</p><p> </p><p>It was so petty to even mention Reiner at a time like this, but there was some degree of truth to it. Reiner was sweet and loving, always putting your pleasure before his own. Porco was not as tender, but regardless, the pleasure he gave you was as rough as it was raw and all-encompassing; Porco’s lust devoured you whole and you welcomed the pleasure this consumption gave you.</p><p> </p><p>“God, I love you so much.” The words were so sweet for someone who was fucking into you so nastily. And it always threw you off when he said this; you knew it to be true, you just wished you could say it back to him. Maybe in some way you did love him, but something in your mind always prevented you from saying so.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, Porco,” you loudly moaned, strategically not returning the sentiment. He moved his hand to your neglected clitoris, rubbing the swollen nub in small circles in tandem with his thrusts. “Ahhh, Porco!” You felt heat building in your abdomen; the combined pressure of his deep thrusts, toying with your clit, and moaning into your ear beginning to erode your endurance.</p><p> </p><p>Reiner flashed into your mind for a split second and you let out a hushed grunt that resembled a sob. Bucking your hips wildly under Porco, you finally meet your breaking point. Thankfully, Reiner vanishes from your mind as you come.</p><p> </p><p>“Por...Porco, fuck!” you chant his name as your orgasm washed over you, hips bucking and pushing back on him for those few seconds of ecstacy. Your walls tightened furiously around him, earning a sharp moan from him.</p><p> </p><p>You dropped onto the bed lifelessly and turned over so you were laying on your back staring up at a still-erect Porco. After sliding himself out of you, Porco straddled your body, pumping himself furiously. You watched with hazy eyes as he focused so intently on his own pleasure. </p><p> </p><p>Porco’s orgasm tore through him, his hot seed landing on your tummy in long stripes as he threw his head back and moaned profanities. Chest heaving, Porco looked down at you and smiled with deep satisfaction; he thoroughly enjoyed coming inside you, but showering you with his seed endowed him with a deeper contentment as of late.</p><p> </p><p>He plopped onto the bed next to you, laying on his side to face you. “You look so fucking beautiful like this,” Porco smiled, tracing his hands on your tummy next to the mess he made. It wasn’t lost on you that he only called you beautiful when you were covered in his come or taking him whole. Especially compared to how Reiner was so generous with his compliments, showering you with them freely and adoringly.</p><p><br/>
Cradling his cheek with your hand, you half-smiled tiredly and sighed. “Go get me a towel, <em> baby </em>,” you demanded. He chuckled and got up from the bed to get one. So you laid there, alone on his bed and staring at the ceiling, thoughts of Reiner preoccupying your mind.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>If you've made it this far, then thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it! Feedback is always appreciated, I don't bite :-)</p><p>Also, pardon the inconsistent past/present tenses, writing is fun but the grammatical technicalities can be tricky lol</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Heavy Eyes Been Watching Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A walk home and a quiet dinner grants you some time to reflect on your history with Porco.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Happy Valentine's Day! or Single Awareness Day (as it applies to me LOL). It's quite fitting that I published this around the most lovey-dovey day of the year, since it includes a some real heartfelt moments. <br/>I use the "~~" symbol to denote flashbacks.</p><p>Enjoy :-)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The warm glow of the Marley sunset accosted your eyes as you slowly blinked them open. You rolled over and checked the time—almost 7 o’clock. Sitting up, your eyes found their way to a sleeping Porco; the two of you must have dozed off, exhausted and spent following that afternoon’s romp. Your hips were slightly sore from Porco’s thrusts, but you had to walk back to your apartment so you’d manage.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The bed creaked as you rose from it, causing Porco to shift irritably and turn over. You glanced at him every so often as you redressed, watching the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest. It was admittedly  adorable, the way his nose would occasionally wrinkle up; it made you wonder what he dreamt about. Before walking toward the door, you planted a chaste kiss on his cheek and pulled the crinkled sheets over his bare abdomen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Porco’s hazel eyes crept open as he spotted you heading toward the door. “Not gonna stay for dinner?” He asked through a yawn. “My mom’s making her beef stew, your favorite,” he smiled dozily.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe next time,” you declined politely.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hmph. Your loss.” Porco scrunched up his face and feigned sourness, before lazily blowing you a kiss, the weight of slumber still heavy on him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You caught the kiss from across the room as he expected, evoking a grin from him before he turned over to promptly fall back asleep. “Sweet dreams,” you muttered to yourself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You walked home alone; you normally didn’t mind solitude in moments like this because it granted you time to disengage and relax your mind. However, you quickly found yourself engrossed with thoughts of Reiner as you rounded the Marley street corners. Unfortunately, they weren’t the dirty thoughts that could be easily resolved late at night; instead they were the lingering thoughts of past contentment that demanded to be acknowledged.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe you should have stayed for dinner. At least that way, you’d be too immersed in conversation with the Galliard’s to even think of Reiner for a second. Plus, you did love Mrs. Galliard’s beef stew—the tenderness of the savory meat chunks and vegetables beckoned you to grab seconds, even thirds sometimes!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mrs. Galliard found it so amusing that even as a child, you had such a </span>
  <em>
    <span>refined</span>
  </em>
  <span> palate to enjoy the intricate flavors of her stew. Porco much preferred simpler foods, like sandwiches. After his and Marcel’s Warrior training was done for the day, you would visit them and play together, enjoy meals, and occasionally sleep over. The boys weren’t the most gentle playmates after long days of training, but it was leagues better than being in your own house. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You strode through the streets, taking in the sights and sounds of the settling city. It always seemed to quiet to a low lull as the sun set. Right as you took in the delicate quietude of the city, three rambunctious kids ran directly in front of you. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You startled as they crossed you and abruptly cut off your path, chasing each other across the street while yelling. You had half a mind to chastise the kids, warning them to be more careful. However, they reminded you so much of you, Porco, and Marcel. You spared them the reprimand, instead allowing them to enjoy their youth, as children should.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>~~</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“See, Porco, I told you I’m way faster!” You shouted from ahead. Porco tried his hardest, but he was no match for you. Advancing ahead of him, you finished the race first, much to his dismay. Marcel watched from the sidelines, amused, shielding his eyes from the bright summer sun.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We have a winner!” Marcel confirmed, holding your arm up in victory. You smiled, face beaming with triumph.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Whatever, you just got lucky this time!” Porco asserted sourly, his head hanging down as he plopped onto the ground. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be a sore loser, Porco! It was a close race, and both of you did your best.” Marcel declared. With that, he skipped inside to grab water, leaving you and Porco outside. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Porco’s bitter expression morphed into a haughty grin. The bright sun caught the mischief in his eyes as they met yours. “I know something I’m better than you at.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh yeah? And what would that be, loser?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Without delay, Porco leapt up energetically, lunging at you. He forcefully pushed you onto the ground, face painted with fierce determination. You winced when your head bumped against the ground, but you were too consumed by the activity at hand to truly acknowledge the dull pain. Hand-to-hand combat was a strong point for him, no doubt! Within seconds, he pinned you to the ground. You sneered at him as he towered over you, blocking the sun from your view.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“See,” Porco started, unyielding in his efforts to keep your squirming body steady, “I knew I could beat you. You’re just like that Reiner, all talk and no skill!” After wiggling under him for a few seconds, you surrendered reluctantly, ultimately powerless under the young boy’s firm grasp. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re lucky that I’m tired from the race. Otherwise, I would’ve got you!” You teased at him loudly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Porco watched you under him, that obnoxious grin of his disappearing for a moment as his eyes pierced you. He pecked a closed-mouth kiss on your lips, letting his lips linger on yours for a few seconds.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You scurried out from under him with a sudden energy, gazing at him with a bewildered look on your face. He looked down at the ground, face painted an embarrassed pink. His jaw trembled and he kept his head down, unable to look at you. It was certainly unexpected, but you couldn’t help but smirk and gently brush your fingers over your lips. Both of your hearts pounded, albeit for different reasons.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Porco tried to explain himself, a mess of stuttering syllables as the corners of his lips pulled downward into a frown, before you cut him off. You quickly recognized his need for reassurance; the need to know that he wouldn’t be scorned for his impulsivity.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I guess you’re kinda strong, especially if you can take </span>
  <em>
    <span>me </span>
  </em>
  <span>down.” You pinched his arm and he grimaced, still unable to meet your eyes “Still a loser, though.” You stuck your tongue out at him and he looked into your eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Porco smiled radiantly at you, before containing his joy and teasing you right back. The pink tint faded from his face before Marcel came back outside to rejoin the two of you. Life was easier then.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>~~</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>You made your way back to your apartment and unlocked the door. Met with empty, dark silence, you placed your bag down before walking over to turn on some lights and open the fridge. Slim pickings. You propped open your pantry door and examined a can of chicken soup tucked behind some tea—it was your second to last can, so you’d have to go to the market before your shift at the hospital tomorrow. The simple, brackish flavor of the soup wasn’t too inviting, but you’d have to make do with it for the night.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>~~</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A few weeks after the kiss, you were playing at the Galliard’s home, just as usual. Marcel had joined Annie and Mr. Leonhart that night, leaving you and Porco at the dinner table. Mrs. Galliard had prepared a savory chicken soup for the two of you, as well as freshly baked bread. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Porco watched you intently with every bite, opening his mouth every so often to speak, but never quite able to get the words out. You noticed him, his jittery eyes darting back to his plate whenever you’d look in his direction. Weird as he was behaving, you lent no real credence to it. You instead savored every mouthful of food his mother prepared. Especially the bread—it was warm and soft, perfectly complementing the succulent chicken chunks. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Leagues better than your pantry soup from the can</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was unfortunate that you had to head back home, but thankfully the walk wouldn’t be too long from their home. You grabbed your jacket and bag and shuffled toward the door before thanking Mrs. Galliard for the food. She assured you that you were always welcome in their home and waved goodbye. With that, you stepped out the door and wobbled out to the street, full of soup and bread. You noticed Porco by the door; he seemed antsy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You heard a faint “Wait!” behind you and jumped when you felt Porco’s hand tighten around your arm and tug you over.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Porco, what are you doing?” You questioned insistently, eyes focused on the clammy hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He released his grip and steadied his breathing before starting, “Do you remember a while back when I—“ he stopped abruptly and his face began to flush, he swallowed thickly. You raised your eyebrows expectantly and nodded him along.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When I </span>
  <em>
    <span>kissed </span>
  </em>
  <span>you.” He finished, lowering his voice at the word </span>
  <em>
    <span>kiss.</span>
  </em>
  <span> “I’ve been thinking about that lately and I just...Well, you see, um—” You pressed your lips to his, ending his sputtering and word-fumbling. Your unsure mouths mashed against each other’s in a messy, inexperienced manner until Porco pulled his face away from yours. He stared at you wordlessly, relief evident in his hazel eyes. The weird, nervous energy dissolved from his being.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You smiled at him coyly, peering at the ground. “I’ve been thinking about it, too,” you started, looking up to meet his eyes. “I like you!” The words flew out of your mouth at such a high speed, you had to cover it to stop more from shooting out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Porco barely contained that boyish smile and stammered, “I—I like you, too.” A new energy emerged—you could feel his weightlessness. You felt like you were floating, until he swiftly brought you back to the ground.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You taste like chicken!” Porco snickered. You couldn’t help but laugh at his immaturity before pinching him. You certainly wished you didn’t have to head home so soon! </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You started back on your journey before turning around to the distant “Wait!” uttered far behind you.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Porco blew you a kiss and you caught it, much to his delight. His smile widened, wide enough for you to see from down the street. The dark of the night obscured the flush on his face, but you knew it was there. Turning back around, you continued home, floating on what felt like cloud nine, with Porco’s kiss in your hand. You clutched it tightly and pressed your fist over your fluttering heart.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Following your shared kisses, you and Porco would spend even more time with each other, his shows of affection interspersed with his roughhousing. Even after repeatedly defeating you in hand-to-hand combat, he’d still be so sweet. He’d blow kisses in your direction from far away and you’d happily catch them. Marcel joked about how mushy you two were being, and Mrs. Galliard could only agree. You and Porco deeply cherished each other’s presences, the love between you two pure and untouched by the strife of the world. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You supported Porco in all his endeavors, but deep down in your heart, you wanted him to remain by your side and not be sent to that island. You soothed him when he wasn’t selected to inherit the Armored, trying to assure him (to little avail) that he shouldn’t question the Marley officials. Still, he remained bitter about it, cursing Reiner. He had always shown such animosity toward him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Although his bitterness dispelled a while after the Warriors were sent on their mission, a fraction of it remained deep inside his heart. It didn’t make sense. Why would someone with nothing to offer be selected for such an important task? This propelled him to work harder, hopeful that he could still be a Warrior someday.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As Porco’s determination flourished, so did your relationship. What was once two kids playing outside, sometimes hugging, and blowing and catching kisses, transformed into a more intense connection. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The mischievous, obnoxious grin that marked his youth had transformed into a smirk of honest assuredness that hid his silent resentment toward Reiner. His lips were no longer inexperienced and unsure; they would meet yours with urgency and ardor. They no longer stammered and trembled with apprehension; instead his statements were certain and sometimes even brazen. His body, once soft yet still strong enough to dominate you in your youth, was now a firm stronghold, fortified by his rigorous training. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Porco was cognizant of the changes you underwent, too. One night, after a long evening of heavy petting and fondling, a deep yearning overwhelmed the both of you. Porco was incredibly tender and attentive that night, holding back his true desire for fear of hurting you. It was a quick bout of passion, but romantic and pleasant nonetheless.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>On one particularly steamy night, Porco didn’t hold back. His thrusts produced rhythmic thumps from the headboard against the wall that resounded around the entire Galliard home. Every cry of his name elevated him, as the two of you ground against each other with unrestrained fervor. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The weight of him on top of you was positively erotic, and your eyes shut out of pure pleasure. When you opened them, they widened in horror; Mrs. Galliard stood at the door stunned. Porco sounded so sure when he told you she’d be out that night. Upon seeing your face and looking back at his mother, his face morphed into one of horror, the both of you rushing to obscure your naked bodies from her view.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She promptly shut the door, deeply alarmed to see the kids who’d innocently play outside during such an intimate moment. The kitchen’s aura was marred by a tense silence between all of you at dinner that night. You cut the silence, bashfully asking for seconds and Mrs. Galliard complied. Porco was rather reticent at dinner, but he still forked down his meal. After all, he’d built up a ravenous appetite from earlier. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The intimate moment she interrupted was an unnerving sight; fortunately Mrs. Galliard understood how the teenage years were fueled by hormones and didn’t look at the two of you much differently.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You decided it would be best to go home immediately after dinner that night. You pecked Porco a modest kiss goodbye. As per your parting routine with him, Porco blew you a kiss and you caught it from down the street. Clutching his kisses granted you an inexplicable sense of security. When you held them over your heart, it nearly exploded. The two of you were head over heels in love.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>~~</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>You rinsed the bowl that held your soup and washed the spoon, returning to reality. After writing a brief grocery list for tomorrow, you walked into the bathroom and turned the shower on. The water didn’t heat properly, but you’d have to make do with it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Peeling off your clothes and tying your hair back, you stepped under the tepid stream of water and let it trickle onto your skin, stealing away some of your worries with it down the drain. The shower was quick and lukewarm, but you felt refreshed regardless. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The bed beckoned you and you willingly obliged, sliding between the crinkled sheets after putting on an undershirt of Porco’s and sleep pants. You turned off the lamp on your bedside table and turned over. The table was adorned with a necklace Porco had gifted you and a book Reiner never retrieved.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No shower could seem to wash away the sheen of thoughts that lingered on you, but at least it was pleasant to reflect on life before everything changed. You drifted off into your private little dreamland, a temporary reprieve from reality.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you liked this chapter! I chose not to include too much gratuitous smut as I wanted to depict a sweet, young love between two individuals as kids (around 9-12) then as teens (around 15-17). </p><p>From the anime (don't know about the manga) we see a bitter side of Porco who can also be as caring as he is teasing, and I want to keep those aspects of his adult self. As for his childhood, I wanted to show him as kinda nervous and sweet with a tinge of bitterness, but also he's a bit of an obnoxious little snot.</p><p>Leave some feedback and let me know what you think, it's always welcome!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. I Can See What You Want Me to See</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>An encounter with one Braun at the market and another encounter with another Braun after work leaves you feeling a bunch of emotions.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hope everyone is doing well! I wanted to post this much earlier, but classes have me super busy...excuses, excuses, and apologies for the long delay.</p>
<p>I use the "~~" symbol to denote flashbacks.</p>
<p>Enjoy :-)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The light of the sun was obscured by the dark, frayed curtains that hung over your window. Rolling over, you stared at the blank wall for a moment before easing to the edge of your bed to sit, mulling over the day’s tasks in your mind: </span>
  <em>
    <span>head to the market, then work. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Not an especially eventful agenda for today. You gave a wide yawn before finally emerging from the bed. You pulled up your covers and straightened them out to make the bed before throwing on a leisure outfit to run your brief errand. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Grabbing the shopping list, you slide your bag onto your shoulder and step into your shoes. Perusing the list as you walk down the creaky stairs of the building, you jolt when a tiny grey mouse darts across the floor into a crack in the wall. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Exiting the building, the bright mid-morning sun caressed your face; a stark contrast to the dull and dismal quality of your apartment building. The day was nothing short of picturesque: sun shining high, birds chirping, and butterflies dancing through the crisp air. You stride through the streets of Marley, headed to the market, beginning your customary reflection while walking. Work didn’t afford you much time to ruminate, as being a nurse demanded all of your attention on patients.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>As Porco pursued his goal of being a Warrior and carried on with training, you undertook training of your own. With encouragement from Porco, you enrolled in Marley’s nursing program at the local hospital, assisting soldiers with their recoveries. The program was only 12 months, and consequently, training was extremely intensive. Comprehensive exams, both written and clinical, required much of your energy and attention. You’d never been so exhausted in your life!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was daunting at first, but you found your rhythm in the program fairly quickly. Tests didn’t necessarily become easier in terms of the content, but you improved with each subsequent exam and excelled. Administering medications, dressing wounds, and tracking vital signs didn’t seem as intimidating anymore. Between the both of your trainings, you and Porco did not visit with each other as often, but the love remained nevertheless.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>~~</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Close your eyes,” Porco commanded, voice laced with enthusiasm. You heard shuffling around his room and footsteps in your direction. He gripped your hand and positioned you in front of his mirror, your eyes still shut.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Then, you smiled when you sensed something cold tickling your neck. You squinted your eyes and surreptitiously caught a glimpse of a gold chain; Porco was too focused on the clasp of the necklace to notice your peeking.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, open!” You opened your eyes to see the solid gold necklace which embellished your neck. The necklace was exquisite; from the delicate and polished chain to the small but elegant rose pendant, it was simply lovely. You observed the dainty pendant in the mirror, gently holding it between your fingers. You could see every petal and thorn; each detail was there in such intricate design. You traced your hand over it, lips ajar in admiration. Porco beamed behind you, staring at your amazed reflection. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You like it?” he confidently questioned.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Porco, it's gorgeous. I love it!” At that, he wrapped his arms around you, embracing you from behind, and propped his head on your shoulder. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m glad you love it. You’ve been working so hard and we barely see each other anymore. It can’t be helped, but I didn’t want you to forget about me.” He explained, a sweetness in his voice as he feigned worry.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You shook your head. “How could I forget about someone as amazing as you?” As well as blowing kisses, this physical manifestation of his love which dazzled upon your neck, granted you a new feeling of security—like Porco would always be with you no matter what. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh you think I’m amazing?” Porco spoke hotly into your ear, before asking further. “What else do you think?” Porco purred, already grinding his crotch against you.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I think…” you began through a heavy exhale, lust simmering inside the both of you, “I think you better stop before your mom walks in on us,” you warned, hardly urging him to stop; your body was ready to submit to Porco’s desires.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s only us here,” he assured; you felt him erect against your behind as he nipped at your neck. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You sure about that?” You managed to ask between deep, aroused breaths. Porco loved the way you were already melting in his arms, attempting to bate your own arousal with lukewarm concerns about his mother.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Porco layered your neck with wet kisses, tracking his hands up and down your body, reveling in your faces of delight with his every touch. His hand fiddled with your waistband until he slid it into your moistened panties. You moaned, knees buckling slightly, when he swiped his fingers across your swollen, soaked folds. He pulled his fingers out, which were shiny with your arousal, and brought them up to his mouth to suck them clean, hazel eyes locked on your face in the mirror as he did so—</span>
  <em>
    <span>fucking hot as hell</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m absolutely sure.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>~~</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Entering the market, you pick up a shopping basket and fish the list out of your pocket. You browse through the store as you collect the items, checking if there’s anything else unlisted that you may need. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You glanced at the basket, looking at the canned groceries inside. It seemed as though you were forgetting something, but what? Of course you’d have to procure meat and bread from the butcher and the baker. You briefly scanned around the store until it came to you—milk. Milk deliveries in the internment zone could be rather inconsistent; thankfully you could pick it up at the market. On your way to the dairy area, you catch a glimpse of blonde hair under a scarf, as well as a red armband.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Unmistakably, you recognize the person as Karina Braun.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Her red armband granted her the privilege of frequenting the better markets as an Honorary Marleyan; what was she doing at this one? Nevermind that. Does she know what happened between you and her son? Would it be rude to ignore her? You saunter toward the milk and elect to avoid her altogether; there’s no actual reason to converse with her. Until, you startle when she appears right next to you, reaching for the same milk carton as you. She stopped, drawing her hand back, and angled her body in your direction.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry—” She cut her apology short, scanning you up and down before recognizing you. Before even speaking, you sensed a chill; her demeanor was cold.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Her eyes met yours, persisting on them as she combed through her mental vocabulary, searching for the perfectly antagonistic words to say.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You seem…” She began, until she finally landed on the word she was looking for. “Familiar.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You nodded slowly and curiously. “I don’t think we’ve met.” Was pretending not to know her the right move?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh yes,” she narrowed her eyes, “I’m sure we’ve met at least once.” Her tone was provocative and assured.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Wrong move. No more playing stupid; even if you didn’t distinctly recall it happening, you’d definitely met her at some point. You reluctantly surrendered information to the unfriendly woman. “I work at the hospital not far from here. After your son came back from Paradis, I aided him in his recovery. Maybe he mentioned—”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She nodded skeptically, pursing her lips before drawing in sharp breath.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And exactly what did </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>do to help him recover? I know my son and I know that titan shifters have enhanced regeneration, so it couldn’t have been much.” She cocked her head and leaned in close to you before continuing, preventing you from defending yourself.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Karina chuckled in near disbelief. “I know all about you. Cozying up with my son night after night, hopping from one Warrior to the next. I’m shocked you haven’t yet moved onto our War Chief—”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Aunt Karina, I found the flour!” Gabi unknowingly interrupted, approaching the two of you with a large bag of flour in her hands. Hopefully her young ears didn’t hear much of the degrading interaction. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Karina’s hurtful, judging eyes lingered on you, before she turned around to face Gabi. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Wonderful! If there’s nothing else on the list, we can head back home.” Before fully leaving the interaction, she snatched the carton of milk from your reach and glared at you, shaking her head out of repulsion. The glare pierced you like the sharpest dagger, punctuating the verbal lashing from a few seconds prior.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You stood next to the milk, taking a few deep breaths to regather yourself. Feeling scorned, insulted, and embarrassed, you sullenly place a milk carton into your shopping basket, then trudge to the register to pay for your items. It was in your plan to secure some meat from the butcher and bread from the baker, but Karina’s hostility in the market soured your mood. You didn’t feel like being in public; you took time in the market to compose yourself, but you were still rattled by her words. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You were thankful for Gabi’s interruption, as it diffused a minute fraction of the tension present. Had she not interrupted with the flour, what other taunts would Karina have conjured up? And was she necessarily wrong?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Karina knew nothing of the depth of your relationships with Reiner or Porco. Her knowledge barely scratched the surface. She saw only what she wanted to see, not what actually existed. Another question emerged in your mind: Were you more bothered by Karina’s audacity, or the partial truth to her words?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Regardless of the answer, you knew you wanted to hide. Surely, you had no idea of the verbal assault you would later endure when you awoke this morning. When you fled the market, you hurried down the street with your head faced downward, obscuring yourself from view as much as you could. Incredible that such a rude woman could have raised such a kind man. The words spat at you made you consider what led you to Reiner in the first place. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>~~</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The medicine should take effect in the next 20 minutes or so. Is there anything else you need, sir?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The man in the hospital bed glanced at his tightly bandaged leg, which was suspended in the air, and grimaced. “I need my leg back.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You smiled gently. “You’ll have it back sooner than you know. It only appears to be a minor fracture, but the doctor will meet with you soon to confirm that. For now, we keep you medicated and your leg elevated.” The man exhaled from his nose and nodded.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You updated some notes in the man’s medical file before exiting the room. “The doctor will be with you shortly. Feel better!” Numerous soldiers had been admitted into the hospital following a recent battle.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You strode meaningfully down the hospital corridor to your next patient’s room. Numerous soldiers had been admitted into the hospital following a recent battle, some with minor and easily treatable conditions and others with major bodily afflictions. While your last patient likely had a fracture in one of his lower leg bones, the patient whose room you headed to was in critical condition. The battle had rendered him comatose. It would only be a brief visit with him, checking his vitals and updating his medical charts.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Being a nurse, you’d seen a variety of patients in a variety of conditions. Marley had won the battle, but was it worth the victory? Lives and families were torn apart all for the glory of Marley, and the notion saddened you. You thought about Porco, shuddering at the idea of him in critical condition before attempting to force the idea out of your head. You then grabbed the man’s medical file to adjust his chart. As you turned to leave his room, you clutched the necklace which adorned your neck, hearing commotion in the hallway. Another nurse hurried into the room to deliver the news to you and your eyes widened in surprise. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“The Warriors have returned!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The nurse briefed you on the situation and you were instantly disheartened for Porco’s sake. Apparently, only Reiner and Bertholdt had returned, and they came back with a woman named Ymir, who’d eaten Marcel. Annie was abandoned on the island, presumed dead. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Fortunately, you were at the end of your shift for the day. You made a speedy exit from work, hurrying to the Galliard home to comfort the family. As expected, Porco was devastated, utterly broken by the loss of his only brother. You’d known Marcel for such a long time, it was difficult to accept that he was gone. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Porco’s mourning was postponed by Marley officials; he was promptly selected to inherit the Jaw Titan. He achieved his goal of being a Warrior, but at what cost? </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>With the loss of Marcel also came the loss of Porco’s body. You’d seen Porco’s body transform throughout the entirety of you knowing him, but this was altogether different. It was no longer his own private body, instead a public vessel through which Marley could subjugate other nations and demonstrate their military strength. As much as he was a person with his own thoughts and emotions, he was equally property of Marley. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>In addition to this, Porco himself changed. Before he had the chance to grieve properly, he was forced to inherit the Titan. He took on the properties of an ocean; some days he was calm and unthreatening while other days, his emotions were turbulent and chaotic. It wouldn’t be fair to leave Porco after such trauma, so you enjoyed smooth sailing on some days and weathered the storm on others. On the rough days, you witnessed Porco’s volatile anger, but you were well aware of the melancholy and sorrow that underlay his stormy visage.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Porco became standoffish and conversations between the two of you devolved into terse, minimal interactions. Despite being so curt in conversations, he would never hesitate to initiate sex. The sex was a sharp contrast from your conversations; it was intense, explosive, and hot. Literally—when you’d dig your nails into Porco’s back, it would steam and instantly regenerate, heating up the room. Hot as it was, it still lacked warmth—there was a coldness to Porco.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was as though he was merely using your body for his own purpose. Perhaps this would be the closest you’d come to understanding his experience as a titan shifter—Marley used his body and in effect, he used yours.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>For the first time, you felt the love between you and Porco dwindle, and you knew it could be traced directly to the loss of Marcel. As that happened, he grew friendlier with Pieck. It wasn’t necessarily a problem; they’d been acquaintances all throughout childhood as prospective Warrior candidates. The bond they forged was unique and exclusive to the two of them.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You were very understanding of this bond, which only seemed to flourish after Porco’s Titan inheritance. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You didn’t confront Porco when he’d come back from training in a cheerful mood, only for it to dissipate once you started talking about your day. You barely grimaced when you found Pieck’s jacket in his room, as well as 2 of her earrings. Through it all, you managed to keep a straight face when Pieck and Porco were around, never displaying any hostility to her.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The sparse dinners with the Galliard’s became a chore; they felt like something you were being subjected to, rather than willingly enjoying. Mrs. Galliard noticed the interruption in the normal, affectionate rhythm of you and Porco’s relationship. She assured you that he was “going through the motions of grief.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Moreover, you acted as if everything was fine when Porco would say goodbye to you, seemingly forgetting to blow you your kiss. It was only until he noticed the absence of his necklace on your neck, the ornament of his adoration for you, that mounting pressure finally erupted.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Porco would spend inordinate amounts of time with Pieck, you’d notice and remain silent, tension would build as a result, then tension would be resolved with sex or an argument, Porco would be warm and loving immediately after, then “reacquaint” himself with Pieck. The love between you and Porco still existed, it just took on a new, cyclical form—one that was as agonizing as it was comforting. The torment of knowing you were effectively sharing Porco with Pieck juxtaposed the contentment you felt when you and Porco reconciled.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The kisses he sporadically blew you compensated for the ones he gave Pieck.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>~~</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Following your return from the market, you quickly put your groceries away then dressed for work. You were delighted to be home after the clash with Karina at the market earlier. You’d have to pick up meat and bread another day. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Setting out for work, the harsh words replayed on a loop in your mind as you briskly strode the Marley streets, en route to the hospital. Luckily, work was the typical level of busy that you expected. You stopped mid-shift for a brief dinner break at the hospital’s cafeteria, then summarily resumed working. You were thankful that it was the perfect distraction from Karina. Time flew by—hours of checking on patients felt like minutes. Despite that quickness, you surely had the body aches of a 10-hour shift.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Departing from the hospital, you lumbered through the streets, carrying the aches and burdens of the day with you. Marley was so serene at this late hour; by 11 p.m., the town had quieted and the buildings were dark, the streets illuminated by the glow of the streetlights. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Finally reaching your apartment building, you let out a deep breath. You pull the door to the building open and enter the dimly-lit lobby before trudging up the stairs. Once at the top of the staircase, you spot a shadowy figure with a red armband walking in your direction.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Reiner?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He stopped in front of you, both of you standing under a flickering light. “Hey.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You urged him to speak, breaking the near-awkward silence. “What are you doing here?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He hesitated for a few moments before starting. “I wanted to stop by...My mother said she saw you at the market earlier. I knew it wouldn’t be pretty, so I wanted to apologize on her behalf.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You raised your brows and nodded. “Thanks for that.” He lingered in front of you, as if waiting for you to say something more. And then you did.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Reiner, do you want to come in for some tea?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His gentle smile beamed in the dull hallway. “That would be nice.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The two of you migrated from the hallway to your apartment. You threw down your bag and jacket, slid out of your shoes, and motioned Reiner toward the couch. He obliged, easing into the seat, his eyes following you as you set up a pot of water to boil. You fixed him his hot beverage and handed it to him, before plopping next to him. His eyes were fixed on you, an element of languor behind them.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“How did you know I’d be back around this time?” You asked out of curiosity.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Lucky guess I suppose.” He answered, sipping his tea. “Thank you for this. How did you know I wanted it with honey?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Lucky guess I suppose, Reiner” you teased, earning a chuckle from him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Heh. Glad you’re calling me by my name now, not </span>
  <em>
    <span>Vice Chief Braun</span>
  </em>
  <span> like yesterday.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, that was weird as hell on my part,” you admitted, laughing while doing so.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You chatted idly with him about the mundane, until he noticed you shifting uncomfortably on the couch.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He tilted his head and leaned toward you, furrowing his brow. “Are you okay?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You realized that you were distractedly rubbing your neck throughout the conversation, then swiftly moved your hand next to his thigh on the couch. “Yeah, today’s shift was exhausting is all. Just a little sore.” You offered a smile to assuage his concern, looking into his entrancing, golden eyes.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Reiner placed his tea on the table adjacent to the couch. He had an idea. “Want me to help with that?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A small fraction of you regrets even mentioning your body aches, but you couldn’t help it—Reiner was so easy to talk to. He had strong hands, too.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, scoot toward me a little.” You complied right away, slightly embarrassed at your own eagerness. You didn’t exactly expect to receive a massage at this time of night, especially not from Reiner, of all people. At the same time, you didn't complain.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Reiner’s hands met your shoulders with impressive gentleness, his delicate touches starting from the top of your back and making their way lower in circular motions. You let out a deep breath, relishing every touch. As Reiner eased the aches of your back, a dull, pulsing ache surfaced between your thighs.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Is this good?” His breath tickled your ear as he asked, his hands grinding your shoulders and collarbones. You were melting, soon to be a puddle washing over him. Reiner was seriously testing your resolve.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, that’s perfect, Reiner.” He responded by scooting a bit closer to you; you felt his hot breaths even more intensely on your neck as he kneaded your body. You could tell that he was truly absorbed in the massage, and each low grunt of his excited you further. Each touch was heavenly, forcing your mouth open as you quietly mewled in his hands.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>You bit back a louder moan when he kneaded your waist, tracing his hands over your clothed abdomen, before brushing over your breasts and squeezing them with the perfect amount of pressure. “Is this okay?” Before you could answer, he pressed kisses on your shoulder, dragging his tongue up to your neck to suck lightly. You pressed your thighs together to quell the throb from between and bit your lip, but it wasn’t enough; every inch of your body seared with desperation.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He propped his head on your shoulder, panting into your ear as he worked his hands under your shirt and bra. He caressed your breasts and grazed your nipples, thumbing them meticulously.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Reiner—” You gasped his name. It was difficult to restrain your desire when your entire body yearned for Reiner in that moment, but then you considered Porco. This was wrong.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I think you better stop, Reiner.” He let out a long breath.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He drew back from your body, which was admittedly disheartened by the sudden lack of stimulation, and instantly apologized.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He swallowed thickly. “I shouldn’t have done that...I’ll be going.” He hurried toward the door, awash with muted shame.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait, Reiner!” He didn’t stop when you called his name. He was already gone when you made it to your door to peer out into the hallway.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>As his sudden departure abated your lust, you couldn’t help but feel confusion as well as a pang of guilt. It’s not like the two of you had sex, it was supposed to be a simple massage. Unless, Reiner wanted it to escalate? Was this his plan all along? Was the apology on behalf of his mother only a pretext?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There you sat on the couch—feeling an amalgam of emotions for the second time that day, this time some positive and some negative, the direct result of an intense encounter with a Braun.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you liked this chapter! Hopefully this wasn't confusing with all the shifts between past and present. I thought it was important to depict the dissolution of the reader's relationship with Porco through a flashback, as well as the origin of the necklace on the nightstand. </p>
<p>Leave some feedback and let me know what you think, it's always welcome!! But please be nice LOL</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Give Me Fire, Give Me Fire</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>An evening with the Galliard's quickly turns sour at the mention of someone in particular. Before this, you reflect on a wild banquet you attended with Porco following the end of the Marley Mid-East War, as well as your prior relations with Reiner.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello everyone! It's been a while since I've last updated. I would've done it sooner, but I was struck with a serious bout of writer's block up until a few days ago, so thank you for your patience! Now I'd like to make some quick "announcements!"</p><p>One: I wrote this story to be canon-compliant, but I simply changed my mind. I realized that the Raid of Liberio plotline does not fit into this fic in any way, shape, or form. So I'm excluding it, and we're gonna pretend that Paradis never attacked Marley and stole the Warhammer&lt;3</p><p>Two: This chapter is meant to take place about three weeks after the events of chapter 3.</p><p>Three: I've decided on 10 chapters for this fic, although that may change (or may not).</p><p>As always, I use the "~~" symbol to denote flashbacks.</p><p>Enjoy :-)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Here’s your bread, enjoy the rest of your day!” The bubbly woman behind the bakery counter handed you a pillowy-soft loaf after accepting your payment, appreciative of your patronage at her bakery.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you, and you do the same!” You chimed, receiving the bread from her. The warmth of the loaf permeated the bag it was wrapped in, heating your hands as you exited the establishment. This bakery had the absolute best bread and pastries you’d ever tasted, barring the bakery Porco would bring you treats from outside of the internment zone. </p><p> </p><p>Stepping outside, your bread was cradled securely in your arms as you strolled to your apartment. You held it tightly—not tightly enough to crush it, but enough to preserve the heat that emanated from it. You sauntered down the Marley streets, absorbing the sights and sounds as per usual. Following the birds above with your gaze, you scanned the overcast of the sky which obscured the sun. It was a lovely day, gloomy sky notwithstanding. And you hoped it would continue to be.</p><p> </p><p>Later that day, you would join the Galliard’s for dinner, at the behest of Mrs. Galliard. She was compassionate and welcoming, and you surely weren’t going to refuse an invitation to savor her food. You did, however, wonder if it was a veiled excuse to force you and Porco to discuss things—a means to placate tension in the relationship. About three weeks had passed since your passionate reconciliation with him, and you hadn’t visited him since then. Mrs. Galliard was as kind as she was observant; the fracture between you and her son did not go unnoticed.</p><p> </p><p>Even with Mrs. Galliard reassuring you that he was simply moving through his grief in his own way, you were thoroughly aware of an additional source of stress impacting Porco. Marcel’s death utterly ravaged his psyche, but it wasn’t the single cause of his duress. Exactly how far did his grief extend? What was it capable of compelling him to do? And, moreover, with whom?</p><p> </p><p>Unquestionably, Porco and Pieck were strongly compatible. They’d known each other for as long as you knew the Galliard’s, training side by side as Warrior Candidates. Not long after Porco’s titan inheritance and the partial dissolution of your relationship, the War commenced with the Mid-East Allied Forces. You had full knowledge of Porco and Pieck operating together on the battlefield, assisting in the annexation of Fort Slava, following the Marley Mid-East War. The tedious war endured for four years; while you were proud of Marley’s victory in the war, you were selfishly irked by the fact that they spent so much time together. Were you expected to believe that Porco remained celibate in her presence throughout the four years?</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>~~</p><p>Following the end of the war, Marley hosted the Warriors and their families for a celebratory banquet. It occurred a few months after they’d returned from the battlefield; you and Reiner were <em> well-acquainted </em> during this time. At one point in the evening, you conversed with Mrs. Galliard, talking trivially with her and pretending to share her relief and joy between sips of wine. Porco invited you to the banquet as his girlfriend as a sheer formality; the two of you hardly spoke throughout the event. </p><p> </p><p>At the start of the dinner, the two of you were determined to present the perfect facade, hiding any cracks in your relationship. You and Porco appeared lovey-dovey and completely captivated by each other; the same visage Marcel would joke about. Except this time, it was a pretense, the two of you totally faking it. Toward the middle of the dinner, and after enough wine, you and Porco made an unspoken decision to drop the act; perhaps it would’ve been easier to perform your love in a sober state.</p><p> </p><p>Guests were seated by family at the tables. The Jaeger’s, Galliard’s, Braun’s, Finger’s, and Grice’s tables were the most elegantly decorated, a result of their strong involvement in the war. You eyed Reiner at the Braun table; he was busy, engaged in exhausting conversations with people you didn’t recognize, likely banal exchanges anyway. Once he was alone, you slid into a chair next to him, much to his delight. You spoke with him, leisurely fluttering your eyelashes at him, lost in his golden eyes. The conversation was implicitly erotic, causing the two of you to shift in your seats and blush. Karina Braun eyed you and her son disapprovingly. Parting from his table, you and Reiner exchanged cheeky glances, assuring that no onlookers could discern the electricity present between the two of you.</p><p> </p><p>Later, while nodding along to Mrs. Galliard’s tipsy jabber, you observed Porco chatting with Pieck from across the room. A quiet envy coursed throughout your body, as you watched the flirty rhythm of their conversation. It was one spoken in their language—an arcane dialect known by Poro and Pieck alone, replete with their own inside jokes, memories, references, and nicknames. You later learned of “Pock,” a cutesy nickname imposed on Porco by Pieck, which he barely <em> pretended </em> to dislike.</p><p> </p><p>Part of you wanted to join them. You wanted to be let in on the joke; understand the memories and know what they were referencing. But, you didn’t bother the duo. Even when you saw Pieck leave the main room, then Porco follow in her footsteps shortly thereafter, you didn’t say a word. </p><p> </p><p>Out of plain curiosity, you pursued them to see where they’d gone: out of the main room and to the left. You excused yourself from Mrs. Galliard, then fled the main room, exiting into the same hallway they did. From down the hall, you spotted a closed door, as well as Pieck’s crutch adjacent to the door.</p><p> </p><p>For the rest of the dinner, you clung onto your fury, your envy, and your heartache and channeled it elsewhere. The banquet to honor the Warriors wasn’t the full extent of your night. Afterwards, following your conversation with him and a series of furtive, suggestive glances at him throughout the night, you visited Reiner at his home and <em> physically honored </em> him in your own way.</p><p>~~</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Arriving at your apartment, you stored the loaf inside the steel bread box, but only after cutting yourself a generous slice and smearing butter onto it. You weren’t famished, but based on previous experiences, you knew to eat before a shift at the hospital. On one occasion, you’d passed out from sheer exhaustion, your bodily resources fully depleted.</p><p> </p><p>You brushed any bread crumbs off of your face before dressing for work. Pulling on your nurse attire, you slid on your jacket and swiftly left your apartment, bag on your shoulder, en route to the hospital. Your shift was scheduled to end at 5 p.m., granting you adequate time to change out of your work clothes before dinner with the Galliard’s.</p><p> </p><p>Reaching the hospital, you clocked in and situated your belongings in the employee area, peeling off your drenched jacket. The cloudy overcast you saw as you left the bakery earlier had advanced; it had begun sprinkling. The drizzle wasn’t heavy, but trekking through it for your whole commute left you dampened. You allowed yourself time to dry off, then promptly began your rounds. </p><p> </p><p>Visiting the first patient of many for the night, you entered his room briskly, but tentatively. As a nurse, you maintained a curated level of enthusiasm, but you didn’t want to unnerve patients with over-the-top energy. Hence, you adjusted the intensity based on the patient you’d be helping. The patient whose room you’d entered was pensive and rather sullen. As a result, you adjusted your enthusiasm accordingly.</p><p> </p><p>“Good day, Sir. How are you doing?”</p><p> </p><p>“Alright.” He muttered, essentially ignoring you. He answered, but his head was aimed at the room’s window, in the direction opposite you. You updated notes in the man’s medical file, peeking at a form of his from the year before, 854. You intently watched his eyes as they tracked the movement of birds outside the window. They flew about in the rain, completely unbounded by and oblivious to the hassles of human life. His focus on the unrestrained creatures was reminiscent of someone else you assisted in the hospital.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>~~</p><p>“I’ll be back momentarily with your water,” you informed. You obtained the cold water and brought it into the room, handing it to the man in the hospital bed. He accepted the beverage, weakly lifting it to his mouth before swallowing a thick gulp.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re welcome. Is there anything else I can provide for you, Vice Chief Braun?” You locked eyes with the blond, his golden eyes boring into you.</p><p> </p><p>He set the water you retrieved for him on the bedside table, beside a book. “No, I’m fine. Thank you again,” he stated solemnly and appreciatively. Your eyes lingered on each other for a lengthy moment, before you exited the room and proceeded onto your next patient.</p><p> </p><p>You circled back to his room after your rounds, only to find him deep in sleep. You approached his bedside table and scrutinized the book which rested upon it. It was tattered at the spine, and the title wasn’t legible. It was evident that the book had been handled often; perhaps it was a favorite of his. You silently set it down onto the table and grasped the empty glass. </p><p> </p><p>“Nooo, no...” You startled and gripped the glass tighter when you heard the panicked moans escaping the sleeping man’s mouth. His face wrinkled into one of worry and his body jolted, sweat beads sprinkled on his forehead. You could hardly imagine what his hell was; the morose mechanisms of his mind. Compulsively, you placed a hand on his arm, a light touch that was nearly imperceivable to human senses; you didn’t want to wake him. Shortly after your hand met his arm, his face reverted to one of stillness and calm. It seemed as though his nightmare had ended.</p><p> </p><p>The next day, you arrived in his room, prepared for his daily examination of vitals. He was sitting in the bed on an incline of pillows. You flushed slightly when his eyes quickly met yours. They were noticeably more vibrant than the previous day, and mesmerizing as ever. After a brief exchange regarding his vitals and condition, you felt inclined to ask him a question. This inclination was likely a result of your feeling of debt toward him—Porco assured you that he was talentless and unworthy; however little talent Reiner had, it granted him the Armored Titan which meant more time spent with Porco in Marley. Because of his abilities, you were allowed more days with Porco; sweet in adolescence, but doomed once he returned to Marley without Marcel.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s this book?” </p><p> </p><p>“Oh, my mother brought it for me a few days ago,” he answered, welcoming the question through his cordial tone.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, what is it about?” You recognized a blend of bewilderment and excitement in his face; he was stunned by the question. It was clear that he hadn’t been engaged in conversation outside of the typical “Thank you for your service, Vice Chief Braun” from Eldians in the internment zone and questions about the mission asked by Marley Brass, derogatorily of course, so genuine interest in him came as a shock.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s about a bird that’s stuck in a cage; it yearns to be free.” He explained, restraining his fervor for the book he clearly enjoyed.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh. How did it end up locked in a cage?” you asked, your interest in the story blossoming.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not locked in there, the cage door is actually wide open.”</p><p> </p><p>You furrowed your brow and smiled curiously, “Then why won’t it fly away?”</p><p> </p><p>He smirked. “It’s a bit complicated.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, my shift ends fairly soon.” You simpered, before cheekily suggesting that he explain it. “Once I clock out, you can un-complicate it for me.” An honest smile spread across his face as he stared at you. He nodded with muted jubilance.</p><p> </p><p>Once you clocked out, you returned to his room as a visitor and listened to every word of his for hours, discussing Marleyan literature as well as the book on the bedside table, until your stomach growled, interrupting the flow of the discussion.</p><p> </p><p>“...and in the end—”</p><p> </p><p>“Woah, you’re gonna spoil the ending for me, Vice Chief Braun?”</p><p> </p><p>He laughed audibly, before making a ‘zipping his lips’ gesture. Silence ensued between the both of you. A comfortable silence; one of long-earned intimacy despite knowing him for such a short period of time.</p><p> </p><p>“Please, call me <em> Reiner.</em>” You beamed at each other.</p><p> </p><p>Reiner was discharged from the hospital four days after your initial encounter with him. You visited him numerous nights after his meetings with Marley officials. The two of you fraternized consistently, discussing a variety of topics until the friendship escalated, assuming a new form which was <em> physically intense</em>. </p><p> </p><p>How could this steep escalation in the relationship be explained? It’s not as if you’d known Reiner for as long as you knew Porco. Maybe it was the sparse, infrequent attention you earned from Porco that propelled you into Reiner’s arms. However, this was understandable, since Porco was preoccupied with other things. </p><p> </p><p>Reiner, Bertholdt, Zeke, and Pieck were sent to Paradis to obtain the Founding Titan. Porco was left behind, the weight of defending Marley with all but one of its Warriors rested solely on his shoulders. The burden was intense, testing your already worsening relationship following Marcel’s death. Dinners with the Galliard’s were strained. Porco’s disposition was unstable and fierce; the sex was forceful and unfulfilling.</p><p> </p><p>Even after the remaining Warriors returned from Paradis, Porco was still profoundly affected by the pressure applied to him, constantly stressed and on edge. Every interaction with him felt like you were disturbing him, interrupting a mental storm that rampaged within.</p><p> </p><p> Reiner was simply easier to be around.</p><p> </p><p>In the short months before Reiner, Zeke, Pieck, and Porco were deployed in the Marley Mid-East War, you and Reiner developed a relationship that was symbiotic in nature—him granting you the solace you craved from Porco, and you providing him the affection he desperately desired. </p><p> </p><p>Sometimes he would visit your apartment, and sometimes you’d visit his home, sneaking past Karina in the process. Although you did not want to be around Porco as much, you still felt guilt; you felt as though you were abandoning him. Additionally, according to Porco, he was the sole reason for Marcel’s death. As much as these thoughts weighed on you, you struggled to pull yourself away from Reiner. The love poured out of him like a fountain, freely washing over you in steady, calming waves. Conversely, Porco’s unpredictable disposition threatened to drown you.</p><p> </p><p>Despite having known Porco for so long, time spent with Reiner between the failed mission and the war afforded you a unique vulnerability that you hadn’t experienced in a while—you knew the depths of Porco’s despair and the experiences that made him, but you no longer had access to his private agony. He locked his pain away, rendering it inaccessible.</p><p> </p><p>Woven through the relationship with Reiner was a sense of doom and a sense of finiteness. Upon learning about your relationship with him, Porco was livid.</p><p>~~</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Pass the rolls.” Porco uttered, after a scoop of his mashed potatoes. Mrs. Galliard obliged, handing him the plate of rolls. It was the three of you—you, Porco, and Mrs. Galliard—at the dinner table; Mr. Galliard had a prior engagement that night elsewhere.</p><p> </p><p>“The pork chops are lovely,” you complimented, Mrs. Galliard meeting you with an affectionate grin.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you, I’m glad you like them! I was worried that I overdid it with salt, but great to know that I didn’t,” Mrs. Galliard admitted. She prepared a heavenly spread of smooth, garlicky mashed potatoes, freshly baked buttery-soft rolls, richly-flavored pork chops and appetizing brussel sprouts.</p><p> </p><p>“Not too much salt at all! They’re so tender,” you reassured, prodding them with your fork, juices dribbling out from under them and crawling to the mashed potatoes that remained on the plate.</p><p> </p><p>“I agree.” Porco chimed in, looking up from his food to glance at his mom, holding his fork in his hand. “You always make the best pork chops, Mom.”</p><p> </p><p>She chuckled. “I make the best pork chops, and I made the best Porco,” she joked, eyes switching between the both of you expectantly, waiting on laughter or any other form of verbal approval. Porco rolled his eyes but couldn’t help but snicker, you giggling in response to her remark as well.</p><p> </p><p>“That, you did,” you confirmed, flashing Porco a saucy look, which he was surprisingly receptive to. He surreptitiously winked at you, causing you to blush and stir in your seat. With that sly response, that morsel of passion, you were enlivened. Why were you dreading dinner earlier today, anway? Porco seemed to be in a playful mood, relationship troubles be damned. The three of you prattled idly about a variety of topics, relishing every bite of Mrs. Galliard’s cooking.</p><p> </p><p>Following dinner, Mrs. Galliard went upstairs to wash up and rest, while you and Porco cleaned up the kitchen. Dinner was pleasant, and your interactions with Porco were refreshing. It was nothing like the previous dinners you’d join the Galliard’s for after the war. Based on the leisurely, engaging conversations at the table, it seemed as though any unease between the two of you had diminished. You felt a twinge of shame; the seemingly reinvigorated warmth between you and Porco only made you feel guiltier about the massage you’d received from Reiner a few days ago.</p><p> </p><p>You bent over the sink, tenaciously scraping a hardened stain on a plate. Porco chortled at your intense focus, before approaching you, wrapping his hands around your hips from behind. He perched his head on your shoulder, before tightening his grip and peppering kisses on your neck. Reiner dragging his hot tongue across your shoulder flashed into your mind, and you dropped the plate into the sink loudly.</p><p> </p><p>“Careful, don't break it!” Porco exclaimed, glimpsing at the plate in the sink over your shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>“Porco, you startled me,” you half-laughed a laugh of irritation, shoving his hands from around your waist.</p><p> </p><p>He backed away, feeling rejected, and grabbed a towel to wipe dishes dry as you washed them, standing next to you to collect the wet dishes from you. You scrubbed a particularly dirty dish, exasperated at the soiled plate. After drying a few dishes, Porco whipped your behind with the damp towel. You craned your neck toward him, diverting your attention from the plate. A wicked smile painted his face and he stepped sideways, inching nearer to you.</p><p> </p><p>You were minorly annoyed, but you couldn’t help but giggle. “Stop fooling around, I’m trying to get this clean!”</p><p> </p><p>He placed his hand on your behind, clutching the cheek lightly. “Just leave the plate there for a second.” He leaned over and nuzzled into your neck, still next to you. You received his affection, still holding the impossibly dirty plate over the sink.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s almost clean, it’s just this one spot I can’t get.” You gently placed the plate into the sink in defeat, the stain on it mocking you villainously as you sneered at it.</p><p> </p><p>You jolted and gasped his name when Porco snatched you up by the waist and lifted you onto the adjacent countertop. He stood in front of you, pinning you with a lusty glare before nuzzling into your neck once more, both of his hands kneading your hips. <em> This was nice</em>, you thought, feeling a slight tingle between your legs where he reached.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m so full! Porco, I feel like I’m gonna pop open.” It was true—you were full to the brim. You sat on the edge of the countertop, welcoming his slow, breathy kisses. He ignored the comment, opting instead to kiss your lips and caress your cheek. “When I explode, you’ll be the one scrubbing pork chops off the floor.”</p><p> </p><p>He chuckled. You laughed at his persistence, warning him of your fullness between modest kisses.</p><p> </p><p>“Alright.” He pulled away from you and held his hands up in a false-surrender, still standing in front of you as he chortled. “Now, does this mean beef stew has been dethroned as your favorite of my mom’s?” He asked, quizzical.</p><p> </p><p>“Not even close! Mrs. Galliard’s beef stew lives in my heart eternally.” You professed sentimentally, holding a hand to your heart.</p><p> </p><p>“Sounds about right. You must’ve had three bowls that one night. You practically waddled out of here.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yup, I remember it distinctly. You and Marcel found it absolutely hilarious.” He paced over to the sink to try cleaning the stained plate.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s because it was!” The two of you reflected on the funny childhood memory, instinctively dejected at the mention of Marcel. </p><p> </p><p>“One of these days she’ll have to teach me the recipe. That way, I can stop eating soups and stews from the can.”</p><p> </p><p>“You know, a lot of the food from the mess hall came from cans.” Since Eldians and prisoners of war comprised the military forces, Marleyan officials didn’t bother hiring skilled chefs for meals on their military bases. Those competent enough to open a can, pour the contents into a pot, and stir it would suffice. Porco’s palate wasn’t too refined, so he did not mind.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not <em> so </em>bad. Sometimes the soups were tasty if I closed my eyes.” You tilted your head doubtfully.</p><p> </p><p>“Buuuut I’m glad to be eating my mom’s home-cooked meals. Her beef stew was actually one of the first things she made for me when I came home.”</p><p> </p><p>“That was nice of her. Lucky you!” What else could you say? It was a damn good stew.</p><p> </p><p>He distractedly stacked plates inside the cabinet above the counter after successfully removing the stain. “Yeah, Pieck said the same thing.” He took a deep breath, realizing what he’d said. And just like that, the lighthearted atmosphere which governed the evening had shattered, revealing the issues which festered below.</p><p> </p><p>“Pieck, huh?” You furrowed your brow, a hushed disbelief written on your face. The name rolled off his tongue with such ease, as if he’d been thinking about her all evening, all throughout your visit with the Galliard’s. You felt your face heat up, the lump in your throat which precedes tears formed as you carefully shimmied off the countertop. It wasn't the first time he'd casually inserted her into the discussion.</p><p> </p><p>Porco stood at the sink with his head down. “It’s...not like that.” He couldn’t urge himself to meet your glare.</p><p> </p><p>“Then what’s it like?” You crossed your arms, biting back rage. You wanted to scream and never stop. “Were you thinking about her while you kissed me a few moments ago?”</p><p> </p><p>“No, I swear!” His jaw was trembling at the accusation.</p><p> </p><p>A full-blown fight with Porco would deplete your energy completely, and you needed that for the walk home. So, you swallowed your bitter anger, choked back your anguish, and suffocated your awareness of the truth, and ended whatever was starting right then and there.</p><p> </p><p>“Porco...” you began in a fragile voice, searching for the ideal words. However, you never found such words to say, instead choosing to pull on your jacket and grab your bag. You hurriedly stepped to the front door, Porco not far behind you.</p><p> </p><p>“Wait, where are you going?” He asked, his voice loud but unsteady. You opened the front door and he pushed it shut. Your grip on the doorknob tightened as you tried to pull the door open, but his hand remained firm, keeping it closed.</p><p> </p><p>“Let. Go.” You demanded. You pried at the door as tears pricked your eyes, threatening to roll down your cheeks.</p><p> </p><p>“It slipped out,” he stared at you wearily and shamefully.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you think about her all the time?”</p><p> </p><p>“No!” He shot back instantly, denying your question. You were so bothered, even by the simple mention of Pieck.</p><p> </p><p>His hold on the door had loosened, and you summarily yanked it open and left the house, only to find it raining harder than it was on your way to work. You'd been so caught up in conversation at the dinner table, that you didn't even hear the sound of the rain on their roof. He tried to grab your arm to stop you from leaving, but you were already in the street, a considerable distance from him.</p><p> </p><p>“Where are you going?” He yelled from the doorway.</p><p> </p><p>“Home. Away from you!” You shouted back, rain dousing your body.</p><p> </p><p>He scoffed and rolled his eyes, before sprouting an idea. “Stay the night.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why don’t you invite Pieck to stay the night?” You suggested, arms crossed and head tilted as rain trickled onto your face.</p><p> </p><p>“Because I don’t fucking love her!” His voice boomed. At a lower volume but still loud enough to cross the distance between the two of you, he asked you once again to stay the night, this time more kindly.</p><p> </p><p>“You’ll get sick walking home in the rain like this. Please, just stay with me for tonight.” He pleaded.</p><p> </p><p>Defeated and unwilling to continue to the screaming match, you proceeded to the doorway which Porco was standing at and pushed past him. You hung your rain-soaked jacket and bag on hooks by the door, leaving your waterlogged shoes nearby. </p><p> </p><p>You went upstairs to take a shower in the bathroom adjacent to his room, washing up before you rested for the night. You heard the bathroom door open, then felt surprised to see Porco climbing into the small shower space with you. He didn’t make any advances toward you like in the kitchen, he simply rinsed his body off wordlessly, facing away from you. The two of you showered together, separately allowing the discrete troubles of your days to wash down the drain, tension evaporating to a minor degree. </p><p> </p><p>Walking into his room after the shower, you grabbed the sleep shirt he designated for you and pulled it on, before climbing under his covers. Both of you lay on your sides, facing each other, staring languidly at each other with no words being said. You cradled his cheek, peering into his hazel eyes, before locking lips in a chaste kiss. He traced his hand down your body as a way to initiate something, but you pulled away and turned over. </p><p> </p><p>He cozied up to you from behind. You resisted his cuddle at first, attempting to wiggle free.</p><p> </p><p>“Please. Just let me be close to you.” You felt his breath tickle your ear with his plea, as you drifted between slumber and awakeness, thoughts of Reiner’s massage swirling around your head as you succumbed to the snuggle he pleaded for. He wrapped an arm around you and held you closely.</p><p> </p><p>“I love you.”</p><p><br/>“I know, <em> baby</em>,” you muttered drowsily. You felt him smirk against you, before he dozed off.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hope you enjoyed this chapter! I modified it about 3492842 times before finally saying 'fuck i'" and posting it. </p><p>In the scene in the hospital, I mention that the Reader "updated notes in the man’s medical file, peeking at a form of his from the year before, 854." This means that this fic is meant to take place sometime in 855, which, according to Reiner's AOT wiki, is the final year of his life (he's set to die in 856, since he inherited his titan around 843). I know it's sudden, and I kinda forced the detail in there, but just go with it. It'll come up in later chapters :-)</p><p>I do flashbacks and jump around between the past and present, so if the sequence of events is ever unclear, let me know. Feedback is always welcome!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. All We Need Now, Is the Dark</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>You consider Porco's behavior and Reiner's actions following a naughty discussion at work, and your night takes quite the sultry turn after your shift ends. Before that, you reflect upon how Pieck and Bertholdt helped Porco in his time of dire need.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hope everyone is healthy and hydrated! This chapter is my longest so far, a lot of important details here. Explicit content ahead, as well as mentions of a few deaths and the mention of blood (hemorrhaging in a medical context).</p><p>As always, I use the "~~" symbol to denote flashbacks.</p><p>Enjoy :-)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You stirred the chunky oatmeal, the metal spoon clanking against the ceramic bowl, before scooping up a generous portion and lifting it to your mouth. Before leaving for her work, Mrs. Galliard left a pot of oatmeal on the stove for you and Porco. Hopefully she had no knowledge of the shouty argument which took place in the rain the night prior. </p><p> </p><p>The oatmeal wasn’t particularly flavorful—as expected since it was oats, milk, and sugar—but it was the perfect consistency. The last scoop slid down your throat with ease; you brought the bowl to the sink to be washed off, in addition to the spoon. </p><p> </p><p>You turned around to leave the kitchen, but jolted when you spotted Porco standing in the doorway. His lips were pulled into a weary smile, as his sleepy eyes tracked your movements across the room. </p><p> </p><p>“You’re so cute like this, when you’re not even trying to be,” he offered.</p><p> </p><p>You smiled gently, appreciative of the sweet compliment, but partially fatigued by his insistence on ignoring last night. A conversation with Porco was the verbal equivalent of walking in a minefield. The two of you worked diligently to avoid touchy subjects, but it was only a matter of time before one of you misstepped and set off a fuse, as Porco had last night.</p><p> </p><p>He approached the stove and scooped oatmeal into a bowl. “What are your hours today?”</p><p> </p><p>“Hmm.” You thought about your work schedule for the day and answered him. “Really long shift today, I think from noon until 10 o’clock tonight. You?”</p><p> </p><p>“Working with the Warrior Candidates today. They’ll be learning about titan anatomy for a while, so the <em> genius </em> Marley brass decided that it would be best to have a live model.” You smirked at the prospect of Porco modeling in front of a bunch of kids in his titan form like a mannequin. <em> Nothing odd about that, </em>you thought.</p><p> </p><p>“That should be fun!” You responded, a sardonic lilt to your voice. “Do a little dance for them.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh yeah, they’ll absolutely <em> love </em> that.” He laughed at the idea and shook his head, before swallowing some oatmeal. The two of you conversed idly at the table as he devoured his breakfast, before you scanned the clock in the kitchen and noticed the time. Your shift would be starting soon and consequently, you gathered your belongings and departed with no time to waste.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m going now, I’ll see you soon.” You stepped out the door and to the street, proceeding to your route home.</p><p> </p><p>“Wait!” You heard a distant yell from the Galliard’s house, and twisted your body to see Porco lingering in the doorway. He subtly blew you a kiss, and naturally, you caught it in your hand. He smiled faintly, as did you. His blown kisses were nothing new, but by reason of the sweet history behind them, you couldn’t help but feel at least minutely warmed by the sentiment.</p><p> </p><p>On the way home, you chuckled again at the thought of Porco posing for Marley brass. <em> Putting on a little show</em>. In your thinking, it occured to you that you’d never even seen Porco’s titan form. You’d only heard about it from others, especially the first time he transformed. </p><p> </p><p>Shortly after Reiner and Bertholdt’s return to Marley with the woman who stole the Jaw from Marcel, Porco was selected to inherit the power from her. For some, the process of acclimating to the abilities of the titan inherited was smooth and effortless; apparently this was the case with both Bertholdt, Marcel, and Pieck. However, others had the tendency to lose control in their first few transformations, basically <em> going rogue. </em>Or, their first few transformations could cause them to enter a state of shocked paralysis. Because of this, Marleyan officials thought it prudent to have armed military personnel present, in case the person went rogue, as well as several nurses and medical professionals, in case the person injured themself or went into shock.</p><p>
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</p><p>~~</p><p>You marched down the hospital corridor to the cafeteria, famished after quite a demanding first half of your shift. A number of armed soldiers and nurses had been admitted to the hospital in critical condition unexpectedly, in need of immediate medical attention. </p><p> </p><p>Gripping your tray full of food, you strode to a table with three conversing nurses and seated yourself. As you settled into your seat and took in a forkful of food, they met you with stray glances which then morphed into stares of pity. Porco’s first transformation was the noteworthy gossip topic among the nurses, as well as it being the reason for the random influx of hospital patients. As you took slow bites of your meal, another nurse calmly briefed you on Porco’s experience. You were mortified to hear of his plight, listening to the nurse’s every word intently.</p><p> </p><p>The training grounds designated for the Jaw Titan included an open field within a giant barrier which lined the perimeter of the grand space. Within the walls of the area, there were tall, artificial, tree-like structures composed of steel. The Jaw was notorious for its incredible speed and ability to jump from tree to tree; these tree structures were designed for this purpose. Additionally, railways were built throughout the area, allowing for the swift deployment of the armored trains which fired anti-titan artillery. These were strategically stationed around the grounds, but had never been used during Jaw training until Porco transformed. Nurses and soldiers were assigned to different areas all around the training grounds, this way, help would be available in any location in case he needed to be shot at or assisted medically.</p><p> </p><p>Magath had signaled him to transform, and he did so without any hiccups. He was able to successfully achieve his titan form, as those in observance automatically compared him to Marcel. However, he was unresponsive to Magath's later commands, rapidly suppressing any hope for his success. </p><p> </p><p>Moments after, he went absolutely berserk. The armed military personnel were directed to shoot at him to hinder his rampage, but the barrage of bullets proved ineffective. In his mindless, chaotic daze, Porco leapt around the training site and pounced on a soldier; he died instantly from the impact of Porco crushing him. </p><p> </p><p>The armored trains were summarily mobilized on Magath’s command; the trains sped through the grounds and immediately, the anti-titan weapons were fired at Porco. On instinct, he dodged blows from the weapons with unimaginable speed, still unable to gain control of the titan body he’d accessed. He had no idea what he was doing as his body operated on autopilot, but his ferocity and agility was felt by everyone nonetheless. Magath’s signals and commands were useless at that point, Porco was helpless. He then utilized his immensely powerful jaw to tear the railways from the ground, causing the armored trains to derail from the tracks, which rendered them inoperative.</p><p> </p><p>Next, he pounced on a nurse, landing on top of her; she died on impact, a petrified expression cemented onto her lifeless face. One soldier had hidden strategically, only revealing his previously unseen location once he began firing his rifle at Porco’s nape. In response, Porco snatched him up with his claw and flung him across the training site to his death. Porco then fled to a nearby steel tree structure, leaping through the air.</p><p> </p><p>The havoc at the training grounds was not only devastating; but humiliating. Porco was unable to gain control in front of not only Commander Magath, but General Calvi and a variety of high-ranking Marleyan officials as well. Once he emerged from the titan, Porco had no recollection of the events that had transpired. He saw the destruction and the dead and injured bodies being carried away, but he wasn’t able to identify it as his fault. He only recalled hearing distant screams while in his titan form as the carnage ensued.</p><p> </p><p>You had dinner with Mrs. Galliard that night, and the two of you discussed Porco. He was a prominent topic of discussion that day; the internment zone buzzed with mentions of his blatant failure. Porco didn’t eat that night, he was far too upset and occupied with thoughts of his glaring inability earlier that day. Later, you ventured to comfort Porco in his room. </p><p> </p><p>“Are you alright?” You inquired from his doorway, eyes fixed upon him as he laid on his bed, utterly defeated. He didn’t respond to your question.</p><p> </p><p>“Magath told me that I killed three people and injured six,” he mumbled, remorsefully. “But according to him, they were all Eldians, so it wasn’t a complete tragedy.”</p><p> </p><p>You perched yourself on Porco’s bed, listening to him reflect on his disastrous day, voice laced with a mournful fragility as he sniffled. You hated being unable to offer feasible advice; you simply attempted to assuage his anguish.</p><p> </p><p>“Porco, this is entirely new to you. It’ll require time to adjust.”</p><p> </p><p>“Bertholdt acclimated to his Colossal right away! Pieck had no problems, either. They say Marcel got the hang of it really quickly, too,” he informed, a stray tear rolling down his cheek at the mention of his brother. </p><p> </p><p>“If I don’t improve by the end of this week, they’re going to feed me to <em> someone more deserving.</em>” He sat up on his bed; he pierced you with his hazel eyes—they were puffy from his tears, conveying the profound distress his day had caused him. He bore the burden of his failure in addition to the weight of the casualties he’d caused.</p><p> </p><p>“That won’t happen. You’ll get the hang of this, I know it!” You punctuated your meager comment with a modest kiss on the cheek; it was all you could offer him.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know what happened to me. It was all a big blur. It felt like my entire body was paralyzed, but apparently I was moving on autopilot. It was like this hazy nightmare of images as soon as I transformed.” More tears streamed down his face.</p><p> </p><p>“Images like what?”</p><p> </p><p>He shrugged, muttering a quiet ‘I don’t know.’ You caressed his damp cheeks; he appeared vulnerable and lonely, despite being in your company. </p><p> </p><p>“I wanted this power so badly, and now that I have it, I can’t even control it! I’m so scared, I feel so fucking pathetic!” He wept, overwrought with agony. Porco cried on your shoulder, shuddering in your embrace. You couldn’t help but sob with him and share his pain; seeing his loss and disillusionment was excruciating.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s valid to feel scared, Porco. But I promise you’re not pathetic.” He whimpered and fixed his gaze onto you.</p><p> </p><p>“Promise?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, I promise.” There was a noticeable twinkle of hope in his teary eyes—he wasn’t a total failure. You broke the hug to hold his face in your hands and peer into his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe tomorrow, I can train with Pieck and Bertholdt,” he mused in an optimistic tone. “They’re being sent to Paradis with Reiner and Zeke to retrieve the Founding Titan very soon, but it shouldn’t take me a long time to learn. I only have until the end of the week, anyway.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, they can give you advice and pointers,” you added. He nodded agreeably, his doubts soothed by the possibility of help from his friends.</p><p> </p><p>“But for now, I think it’s best if you try to get some rest. Nurse’s orders,” you teased in your work-voice.</p><p> </p><p>He smiled faintly. “You’re probably right.”</p><p> </p><p>In lieu of blowing you a kiss, Porco chastely pecked your lips before you departed.</p><p> </p><p>For the next several days, Pieck and Bertholdt allotted time from their busy schedules to aid Porco in his adjustment to his new body. Apparently, he’d seen a puzzling fusion of Marcel and Ymir’s memories. They both provided him with multiple methods for control during transformations, which was a huge help. His bewilderment was put behind him, and he was able to effectively adapt to his bodily changes. After abundant apologies to the families of the nurse and soldiers he’d accidentally killed or maimed, Porco seemed to move past the incident.</p><p> </p><p>You felt a deep gratitude for Pieck and Bertholdt; if it wasn’t for their help, your boyfriend would have been devoured by someone else. Surely, you’d never be able to display any hostility toward either of them, especially kindhearted Pieck.</p><p>~~</p><p>
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</p><p>Unlocking your apartment door, you hurried inside, dashing to your room to dress for work. Once dressed, you sliced yourself a thick piece of bread, slathering butter onto it. Cramming the slice into your mouth, you chewed with haste. It felt as if you’d come back to your apartment, gotten dressed, ate the bread, then departed to the hospital all in one step.</p><p> </p><p>Finally arriving at work, and nearly late at that, you dropped your belongings into the employee area and clocked in. Beginning your daily rounds, you zipped up and down the hospital corridors without a moment to rest. You updated notes in patients’ medical files, administered medications, changed bedpans, and delivered meals to patients. You were quite relieved when it was time for your break; the first four and a half hours of your shift breezed along. It was 4:32 p.m. when you clocked out for your hour lunch. Or, early dinner, you supposed. Moseying down the hallway to the cafeteria, you took time to catch your breath.</p><p> </p><p>Eyeing a table with other nurses, you plopped into a chair and joined whatever nonchalant conversation they were holding between bites of your meal. You didn’t contribute that largely to the conversation, mainly minor reactions to what was said in the form of gentle smiles and nods of agreement, as well as the occasional benign comments. You chimed in briefly when they discussed the upcoming festival in the internment zone, but eventually lost interest in the conversation. This was until a particular topic at the table seized your attention.</p><p> </p><p>In a hushed tone, one nurse began. “It’s so unfortunate that he only has six months left.”</p><p> </p><p>You listened closely, attempting to determine whom they were speaking of. Was it Reiner?</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, we’ve never had a Beast like him. What is it about that Jeager man?” <em> Oh, they were talking about the Warchief, </em>you thought. Regardless, the remark about having six months left was relevant to the both of them; they’d inherited their titans at the same time and as a result, their terms ran parallel. </p><p> </p><p>The same nurse who commented on his time left responded. “No idea. Maybe the key to his power lies in his brain,” the nurse propounded. </p><p> </p><p>Another nurse at the table giggled, then her face morphed into a coy expression. Her eyes darted around the cafeteria before she spoke. “Maybe the key to his power lies in his pants. I bet <em> it’s </em>really something.” She raised her eyebrows suggestively, then held her hands six inches apart as if she was measuring something. "Wonder if he keeps it hairy down there, like his titan?"</p><p> </p><p>The table erupted with a hushed laughter, with others in the cafeteria directing their attention at the playful ruckus. Even working at a hospital, serving as a channel between life and death for patients, you couldn’t avoid silly, juvenile banter about boys. It transported you to your adolescent days, when thoughts about boys monopolized your mind. However, you didn’t consider <em> boys</em>, per se, but <em> one boy</em>. Your teenage thoughts were thoroughly immersed with Porco. It was him and only him.</p><p> </p><p>The nurse who made the cheeky comment about the Warchief added to what she’d said, this time at a near-silent volume. “Although, I’d be remiss if I didn't discuss our very own Vice Chief. I bet <em>it's </em>better than the Warchief's!" This time, she held her hands seven inches apart, causing your face to heat and flush an embarrassed hue. She went on to postulate his girth and pubic situation as well.</p><p> </p><p>Noisy laughter—noisy for the typically silent cafeteria—emerged from the table once again. You giggled as well, face heating and flushing as you shifted weirdly in your seat. After all, in your short relations with Reiner, you had seen <em> it</em>. Naturally, the nurses had no knowledge of your relationship with him and consequently, your face flushing, unusual fidgeting, and nervous laughter could be chalked up to some other circumstance. Perhaps you’re prudish; maybe you weren’t expecting such a naughty conversation at work. Whatever the reason, your relations with Reiner couldn’t be discerned as the reason for your odd reaction at the table. </p><p> </p><p>With that, thoughts of the massage inadvertently bubbled to your mind’s surface once more, this time, accompanied by thoughts of what could have occurred. Turns out, that raunchy remark triggered a cascade of lewd thoughts. It likely wasn’t helped by the fact that you were touch-starved and harbored residual horniness. If you hadn’t stopped his wandering hands, what would have happened? The answer was quite obvious, given how aroused you were during the brief massage. You wanted, badly, to reach into your pants and provide yourself much-needed relief. Or reach into <em> his </em> pants. Since he was massaging you from behind, you couldn’t see <em> it</em>, but you were sure <em> it </em> was fighting the confines of his pants. Probably shiny and throbbing, ready to—</p><p> </p><p>Your far-travelling thoughts were cut short by a nurse dropping her spoon onto the floor, the clattering of the silverware harsh and loud against your quieter, inappropriate thoughts. You were thankful for the interruption; any more time with your dirty thoughts and they would’ve consumed you whole.</p><p> </p><p>“Say, what time is it?” You questioned calmly, lewdness dissolving from your brain. The nurse sitting next to you checked her watch and let you know. </p><p> </p><p>“Around half-past 5.” As you figured. Some nurses had already left the table and resumed their shifts, and now it was time for you to do the same. Placing your tray on the conveyor belt with your silverware, you politely waved to the nurses still at the table, then left the cafeteria.</p><p> </p><p>The next half of your shift didn’t fly by as easily as the first, but regardless, the busy flow remained the same. Always someone to check up on, always a wound to redress, and always a new patient to help once another is discharged. You sat down to update information in a patient’s file, when an intriguing thought materialized in your mind.</p><p> </p><p>Earlier, in the cafeteria, the other nurses chatted leisurely about Warchief Zeke, as well as how endowed the Vice Chief was. However, Porco didn’t seem to come up. Not that you’d have wanted to discuss your boyfriend with people you were mere acquaintances with, but you found it interesting. Were they not discussing how endowed he was, out of respect for you? You felt a pang of guilt. Here these women were, respectful of your relationship with Porco, when you weren’t. You were enamored with the fantasy of a massage leading to sex with Reiner. You supposed it would only be more disgraceful if you’d gone through with your thoughts. After all, it was simply a massage, right?</p><p> </p><p>You shook your head lightly, flushing the ideas out of your mind. You wrapped up the last few minutes of your shift wrapping up a fractured wrist, before bidding the patient farewell and proceeding to the employee area to grab your belongings and depart for the evening. To say the least, you were exhausted.</p><p> </p><p>On the quiet walk home, you had more mental space to think than during your shift; unfortunately, you were met with guilt. It lingered throughout the second half of your shift, looming quietly as you performed your nurse duties. However, you chose to bate your guilt during work with thoughts of Pieck—her jacket, her earrings, and her mention in the kitchen the night before. But, did you still have a right to hold that against Porco? The Marley Mid-East War ended an entire year ago, and that fateful banquet that occured after had happened months ago at this point. </p><p> </p><p>Entering your apartment building’s dim lobby, you advanced toward the stairs, fortunately missing the tiny grey mouse which seems to have made a home in that crack in the wall. Trudging up the stairs, you finally approached your apartment door and lazily pushed it open with the force of your tired body.</p><p> </p><p>Flipping the light switch, you were met with silence. Not that you expected noise and activity in your apartment. It was rather comforting after a long day, especially when the hospital could be loud and frenetic at times. You dropped your bag into a chair and walked into your bedroom to peel off your work attire layer by layer. You pulled on an undershirt of Porco’s and sleep pants onto your bare body, then headed into the kitchen to prepare a soothing mug of tea. As you waited for the water to boil, you heard a thumping knock on your door.</p><p> </p><p>You knew better than to open the door at this late hour, especially when you weren’t expecting company. However, something compelled you to open it; you had no idea why. You truly didn’t seem to sense danger behind the door. You tentatively opened it.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s been a while,” he muttered. You peered at his red armband.</p><p> </p><p>“So, it has.” You masked your surprise with a calm, virtually stoic demeanor. “What are you doing here at this hour, Reiner?” The coldness in your voice betrayed the growing warmth within you. Funny how you were just talking about him with the other nurses during your break. This made you consider the Marleyan proverb: “Speak of an Eldian devil, and he shall appear.” And appear, Reiner did.</p><p> </p><p>He paused for a moment, collecting his thoughts. “Things got a bit intense the other night. I wanted to apologize.”</p><p> </p><p>“Seems like there’s a new apology each time you come here.” He grimaced, an awkward silence lingering between the two of you. “I suppose it would be rude if I left you standing here, though.” He smiled when you gestured to him to enter your apartment, you dropped your cold facade in the process.</p><p> </p><p>“How’s work going?”</p><p> </p><p>“Just the usual amount of chaos and disorder at the hospital.” You answered from where you stood at the counter, steeping the teabag in hot water. “How about you? I hear that the Candidates are learning about titan anatomy.”</p><p> </p><p>“They’re extremely eager. It’s as comforting as it is horrifying, seeing how driven these kids are to have the privilege of eating me.” He stated this wryly, with a tinge of melancholy in his voice as he casually acknowledged his upcoming death. </p><p> </p><p>“Magath fired his rifle at me today, to show the Candidates that my armor is impervious to bullets,” he began. “I wish he would’ve briefed me on that before I transformed. But, I guess it’s better than cannonfire from the enemy,” he expressed sardonically. You could only nod sympathetically.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Why were you letting him settle on the couch and tell unfortunate work stories? He apologized at the door already. Tell him to leave! </em>
</p><p> </p><p>You sat next to him on the couch, placing your hot tea onto a nearby table. His eyes met yours lazily, the two of you gazing at each other in a taut silence on your couch. You focused on his lips intently as he opened them to speak; he noticed this and glanced at your lips, before switching to your eyes and then your lips once more. Thoughts about the raunchy discussion at the cafeteria table rushed to your mind.</p><p> </p><p>It’s difficult to say who started it; but in the blink of an eye, it was happening. You and Reiner’s clothes were discarded in a pile next to your couch, basically forgotten about as you mewled under him on your bed, the blond dragging his tongue up and down your neck. You felt exhilarated; the weight of Reiner on you was undoubtedly erotic. The pulse between your thighs was prominent as Reiner’s erection brushed against you, wet with pre-come.</p><p> </p><p>There were numerous occasions when Porco would spend time layering kisses all over you in this same manner, tasting every inch of you like a starved man. He’d make you feel like the most beautiful being on the planet, tenderly and slowly. You and Porco would tell Mrs. Galliard that he’s helping you study for an upcoming nursing exam, only to devour each other in the most loving way possible. However, that was not seen again and instead replaced with haughty, dominative, and disconnected sex.</p><p> </p><p>“Reiner?” </p><p> </p><p>“Should I stop again? Like the other night?” He asked, sprinkling kisses onto your neck and collarbone.</p><p> </p><p>“No. Let’s switch.” He was floored by your suggestion, positive that you’d ask him to stop kissing you. The two of you switched positions, with you straddling him as he laid under you, flat on your bed. He grinned up at you, mesmerized. You traced your hands about his pecs, him flinching and smiling as you grazed his nipples.</p><p> </p><p>You moaned when Reiner palmed your bare breasts, thumbing and pinching your nipples. He continued this, relishing all the noises you made for him. Still straddling him, you ground your clitoris against his erection, which laid flat against his lower abdomen, oozing and hot. You never allowed him entry inside you; you simply humped Reiner, and that alone had the both of you humming with delight. He squirmed under you, enveloped in the heavenly sensation of your slick folds gliding over his engorged member.</p><p> </p><p>Quickening your pace, your hips stuttered as you strove toward your impending orgasm. Reiner twitched under you, close to his end as well. He furrowed his brows in delight and his eyes rolled back, moans of your name trailing off his lips as he called you beautiful both freely and adoringly. Pleasure tore through the both of your sweaty bodies as your chests heaved. You were on the edge of your climax, as—</p><p> </p><p>“You feel so good, baby,” he groaned. <em> Baby. </em> You slowed your hips for a moment, musing upon how off-putting the word would be coming from Porco’s mouth. </p><p> </p><p>Porco. Your boyfriend. Your eyes darted around your bedroom in avoidance of Reiner’s passionate gaze; the immense guilt struck you. You spotted the necklace Porco had given you, dazzling and beautiful and isolated on your bedside table, as you ground your crotch against Reiner’s. This was wrong. So fucking wrong. What were you doing? Porco certainly blundered through his actions with Pieck, but you recognized that it wasn’t done with malicious intent. This, on the other hand, was wrong, dirty, and mired in resentment. The lusty haze which filled your brain as soon as you and Reiner kissed on your couch, had begun to evaporate.</p><p> </p><p>Reiner spoke mindlessly, deep in his pleasure. “I’ve been thinking. About you, about this,” He grunted heavily and his words came out breathily, eyes half-lidded. “I love y—”</p><p> </p><p>That was the final straw, you were keenly aware of how that statement was ending. You dismounted from Reiner, scurrying away from him as you climbed off of your bed. “What’s wrong?” His eyes widened as he asked, disheartened by the sudden departure of your naked body from his.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re asking me what’s wrong? Are you fucking serious? <em> This </em>is wrong, Reiner!” He gawked at you, rattled by your sudden righteousness.</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t do this to Porco, I love him!” An awful mix of jealousy, displeasure, and rejection was evident on his face as he listened. “You have to leave.”</p><p> </p><p>Not what Reiner wanted to hear. Despite that, he complied, bitterly climbing off of the bed and advancing toward the couch in the other room. He handed you your clothes and the two of you dressed in a strained, regretful silence, avoiding each other’s eyes like the plague. No one had climaxed during the brief and intense tryst, but it was shameful nonetheless. Once fully dressed, Reiner adjusted his armband, then solemnly stepped to your door. However, he opened his mouth before he left, proclaiming a single comment.</p><p> </p><p>“When you go running back to Porco again, tell him and Pieck I said <em> hello.</em>”</p><p> </p><p>“Get the fuck out of my apartment!” You hissed the command at him with such a sharp and pointed hostility, he had no other choice but to leave. </p><p> </p><p>The next morning, you dragged yourself out of the bed, still wearing the shame from the sordid night prior. You were upset by Reiner's words and furious at yourself for letting it escalate quickly. Unfortunately, your shift would be a shorter one today; 11 a.m. until 3 p.m. This was one of the rare occasions you wished it was longer, in order to keep your mind occupied. You showered, dressed for work, nibbled on a slice of bread, then trudged to the hospital.</p><p> </p><p>Arriving at the hospital, you clocked in and began your rounds. As you moved up and down the corridor, you reflected on both Reiner and Porco. Reiner’s words were calculated and antagonizing; surely you had an idea of whom he inherited that from. Why did he mention Pieck? Does he know something about them that you don’t? Or were the words meant as an offense to you to preserve his bruised ego? You shook your head, thoughts of Reiner’s comment and Pieck’s existence vanishing from your mind as you were on your way to your first patient of the day.</p><p> </p><p>The patient was a young woman who’d been admitted after you clocked out the night before—11:13 p.m. She experienced sharp body pains, a fever, and vaginal hemorrhaging, but was now in stable condition. You would do a routine tracking of vitals, administer any medication if need be, and update her files. Nothing extraordinary.</p><p> </p><p>The woman in the hospital bed turned over to face you, pinning you to the wall with her eyes. With disheveled dark hair framing her face, you recognized her in the bed as none other than Pieck Finger.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hope you enjoyed this chapter! The pacing still feels really odd to me and I rewrote the after-work scene a bunch of times before I felt satisfied with it, so let me know what you think. Feedback is always welcome!</p><p>I had so much fun writing the little discussion at the cafeteria table. Even in a fic focused on Porco and Reiner, my Zeke brainrot still comes through LMAOO</p><p>As we learned last chapter, this fic is meant to take place in 855, which is consistent with the reveal of Reiner having six months left. And I know I've been dangling a confrontation in front of y'all for a few chapters now, so I promise that it's coming!</p><p>April 9, 2021 Update - I will be swamped with school and work for the rest of the month, so I will not be able to work on this story until May. Thank you for understanding and reading up until this point! :-)</p>
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